Part II of III

Seems like about 74 days since we were back in the sunny land of Oz, we had schmoozed with Ian Brown and Noel Gallagher at Heathrow as we queued up for our sojourn to more familiar shores. I knew I was on my way to my real home when I heard Paul Kelly, Gangajang, Daryl Braithwaite and Powderfinger played in succession on our Qantas flight – pity Australia produces such crap music! The take-off brought a smile to our faces, the flight over the top of Afghanistan kept us awake and the knowledge that we were 1 hour away from Tullamarine shed all our fatigue (or relegated it to a later time). When we got to the terminal only my parents had arrived, which obviously meant that Fiona’s parents didn’t love her or so she reasoned. We got in at about 6am and the day didn’t stop there. After the emotional reunion with the family, I was escorted back to the house to be fed – apparently I was pale and too skinny. No sh*t – I live in London, it’s like fashionable over there.
Like a camel, I had now stored enough food in the stomach for the next year ahead, I was due to take part in Dave Mckells bucks party, which at that time of the day involved 9 holes of golf. I had an atrocious 6 holes, a dazzling 7th and then had to rush off mid-round to get myself to the church on time. Thankfully not for my own wedding, but for Anna Peters and Maxy, one of Fi’s mates from school. The wedding was held at St Andrews in Brighton and was our first chance to catch up with most of the Brighton crew. The wedding was perfect and the reception even better. We all headed into the GPO building in the city where we were greeted by rows of waiters serving cocktails and an abundance of nibblies including 5 types of oysters. The venue was spectacular, beautiful views over the sunny Melbourne city and modernistic interiors. All the girls were pissed off that they would never top this (the first wedding in their school year). After plying ourselves with numerous cocktails and a remarkably good Czech bottled beer, we made a rush towards our dining seats, if only to make sure we didn’t fall over under the cloud of booze (I completely talk up my drinking ability by the way). Here we were treated to a beautiful 3 course meal and shared lots of laughs with a few fellow Londoners and close friends. Rumors abound that I also danced the night away and eventually fell asleep standing up. Untrue of course.

The next day was Dad’s birthday and in true Australian fashion we had a BBQ under the dying sun with the family and our old next door neighbours, Lindsay (Heir Flatt) and Carol. As is custom, the old neighbours forced multiple litres of rouge down our throats and we had a good laugh. Mum cooked up a storm. My favourite dish was jetlag – yummy. Cue sleep for 12 hours. The difference between the pound and dollar was illustrated to us when we caught a taxi home from the city to my home for £10. That amount wouldn’t get me to the end of my street over here!

Being back in Australia gave me the opportunity to get back into some of the activities you really miss in the UK – reading The Age from front to back, going for a kick of the footy with my dog, watching the Fox Football channel all day, taking my Nan for breakfast at the local shops and getting sunburnt in really odd configurations on my body. Yes – I got severly burnt one day playing golf, I looked like a right Pom. I hadn’t planned to play any golf while back in town, but managed about 8 games in the end, including one at Moonah Links, home of the Australian Open (not a cheap round, thanks parents!). I’d also planned to steer clear of computers, but ended up breaking both Fi’s parents and my own parents’ PC’s while doing my routine yearly maintenance. Happy days in front of the monitor.

Being back in Melbourne was a kind of strange feeling. Completely different to living there and taking time off from work. Now I felt like a tourist and wanted to go and see all the sites. We wandered into Melbourne city one day for a stroll around. The emptiness of the place even at lunchtime was striking. It felt like a rural town compared to the rat race of London, which is a very good thing. We met Fiona’s Dad for a look at his new offices and some lunch and then strolled along Southbank up to Federation Square (Melbourne’s millenium project, for our non-domestic viewers). We even squeezed in a visit to the War Memorial for some emotional remeniscing and great views over the city.

Sass and Scott offered a chauffered drive to Kennett River near Lorne, that I couldn’t possibly pass up, even if it was with my sister. Scott’s family owns a house down next to the beach and I decided to teach them a lesson in Monopoly (you have to actually go the places on the board before you become any good at this game, local knowledge). Unfortunately amongst other liquids consumed that night was half a bottle of Vickers gin (not a good idea) and I felt sorry for myself in the morning. Quelling the pain was a big Aussie breakfast as we watched the sun rise and a Koala sleeping at the end of the patio (I even took a photo – how sad). The day got better and better, we polished off some fish and chips overlooking Lorne bay (and polished off our hangovers) and made our way back to Melbourne to witness a mauling handed down by Geelong Football Club to Carlton in the company of Fiona and her sadly Carlton-mad family. I felt really bad for those losers. At least Fiona and her family now had consolation in the form of a new puppy, a beautiful little Golden Retriever called Jasmine that they picked up whilst we were back. I think we took more photos of the dog than our own families and friends. Respect.

David and Laura had their big day at St Peter’s (guess) in Bentleigh followed by a reception at the Savoy in Brighton near the end of our trip. Big Dave couldn’t wipe the smile off his face, it was beautiful to watch, congrats guys. The pressure is on now – I guess when Jenny and Ant get married then we are logically next in line!

Finally, we caught up with some of our old London crew (Tam, Ben, Jade, Lucas, Steele and Julia) at Tam and Ben’s new house which is very swish and full of gadgets (and bunnies) of course. The trip was capped off with a repeat of last year’s going away bash – i.e. Jason and Josh were last to leave again, we had a weeks worth of leftovers again, Dad had to be restrained from making a speech again and like the rest of the holiday it all went far too quickly AGAIN. Thanks everyone for making our return so much fun. It was short, but so is the time before we are back to do it all over again.